User Profile

i am the dread pirate jarvis... i have been everywhere and done everything... i am well known in international botany circles... i once saved a group of brazilian midget tribesmen from a bette midler concert... i speak parseltongue... i am part of the underground pig rock scene... i was consulted on the construction of the tower of pisa (oops)... i am the prince of pop, the queen of soul, and the king of rock and roll... i am a huge nerd... sarcasm is my specialty... i play a mean kazoo... like all great pirates, i am a fan of booty... my heart melts for venus... i have seen Flight of the Navigator... i have a friend named meat hand... i am known for my fat dancing abilities... i KNOW Cletus...i have experienced "hodge-time"... i learned the value of wesley willis from the most fantastically ridiculous roommate of all time... the x-men have dubbed me "mag-noodle" because i can shoot pasta from my fingertips... i have a tendency to fall for musicians... i have this weird, un-girl-like passion for old cars... i fight ninjas like a mofo... i write all the music for the backstreet boys (maybe i shouldn't tell anyone about that)... rick james wrote a song about me... i am a follower of rambaldi... i'm crazy about old prospectors... your mom can't get enough of me... i like things at random, and usually don't know what is going on... i'm getting old... things aren't quite what they used to be, or maybe i've just started looking at things differently... i believe in the truth of cliches... life is harder than most people think, but easier than most people make it out to be... maybe i'm crazy, but i still believe in love. i might not have it, and i'm not sure if i'll know it when i get it, but i think that somewhere out there it exists. i'd like to see it up close, maybe take it out for coffee.

and just so that everyone knows my stand on the issue, i think fuzzy boots are ridiculous.

Friends (2):

Friend of (2):